15 August, 2017

Who is to blame?

image by itsbruce
cc license
Who is to blame for the current (apparent) popularity in being a loud, proud, violent, racist, sexist, homophobe? I think I have it all worked out...

Unlike what some may be telling you, I don't think we can blame the Abbotts and Bernadis of this world. Arsehole politicians with outdated views on what other people should be doing are really nothing new. And, for the most part, the rest of the world just ignores them for a few years before accidentally voting them in again at the next election.
No, we can rule them out as the cause.
I put it to you that the real cause is HIPSTERS.
Yes, hipsters. Bearded, boutique-beer drinking, vinyl listening, bicycle riders.

Being a hipster might seem harmless, but as you reach back into the 20th century in order to locate more obscure things that you can like and know about before your friends do, it is only a matter of time before you bring back other things with you.
What things? Well, racism and homophobia are pretty retro. And it is surely a short step from being the sort of man who thinks that shaving with a straight razor might be fun, to being the sort of man who thinks that women are his to command. Were you into that before it was cool? Well it is still not cool, so stop it.

Image by Ryan Hayes
cc licensed
So, what is my solution? I think it is obvious, rather than looking to the past for our inspiration it is time to look to the future. And not the dystopian, 'the future will be awful' sort of stuff. Real imaginative science-fiction!
If you want: same sex marriage; to close the gender pay gap; to get racists off the streets again; to find a world where we welcome the alien among us, then read science fiction again.

07 February, 2017

Vote 1 The Gutless, spineless, gormless, direction-less, neurotic, underachieving, snivelling, cowardly pile of Smeg Party.

A rare photo of Cory NOT thinking about what gay men get up to.

The Cory B Bernardi Song
(with apologies to Arnold J Rimmer)

If you're in trouble he will save the day
He's brave and he's fearless and so not gay
Without him our nation would go astray
He's Cory, Cory, Cory Bernardi
Without him our progress would be less tardy
He's handsome, trim, and just changed party
He will see if that was quite foolhardy
He's Cory, Cory, Cory Bernardi
More rugged than rugby’s Scott Fardy
He's frequently been mistaken for a pharisee
He's very very worried about your sexuality
Goes and sits in church for his Sunday
His belief that he is right is uncanny
How come he's such a wanker? Don't ask me!
Ask Cory, Cory, Cory Bernardi
His head looks like a strange erection
And if you write your votes right
Then he just might be out of parliament next election.
He's Cory, Cory, Cory Bernardi
Thinking of him makes me scoll bacardi
We’ll decorate his election posters with a sharpie
And try and ignore his political bastardy

(with thanks to Adam for the title of the post)